How to date like a dude – The Filipina way

Dating.

Something that we are all too familiar with. But how much do we know?

Let’s go back to the basics. Definition. I feel like I’m making a thesis right now.
Okay. THis is what Wikipedia says…
Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.
Human Mating. Excuse me while I crack up! Di mada ui!
In English, I can not! hahaha

Let’s get back on track here… Sorry about that.
This blog is about the lessons I learned about dating or my do’s and don’ts when going out.

Just to give you a short background so you can at least say that this blog does have some credibility to it;
I had more than 50 guys and 2 girls who asked me out and wanted to court me. I know because they literally asked.
Too many? I agree. Again, they asked. I didn’t say yes to all of them of course. I only said yes (to the dating, not actual relationship) to around 20-25%.
How do I know? I actually have a list. Yes, an actual list. I started when 3 guys asked me out at the same time (also said NO to all 3) and just kept adding to the list until about 5 years ago. Last count was 53 or 54.

You might be thinking that I play around and this is only for the girls of “my kind” (independent, strong women who knows how to have a good time… lol)
Uhmm.. no. I love love. And I love being in a relationship. I had 3 long ones. 6 years, 3 years and 1.8 year.. All who proposed/ was about to propose to me in one way or another… (I know, I’m a catch. haha) I won’t get into the details but I want you to know that I don’t play around when it comes to relationships.
(Hmmm… next blog might be how to get a guy to propose to you. ;p )

You might think as well that “oh.. she’s so liberated.. Filipinas are not like that. ” etc.. etc.. I don’t know about the liberated part but I do know this, I’m just saying what everybody else is thinking and are secretly doing. I call that guts.
I’m actually proud of what the women in the Philippines have become when it comes to dating. They have embraced the girl power. They know that they have control over what happens to a date and where it can go. They know that a NO MEANS NO. You’re also reading this right now because you want to learn a thing or two.

Dating doesn’t have to be too serious. On the contrary, it should be fun! Just because you’re on a date with a guy, it doesn’t mean that you have to analyze and imagine how many children you guys will be having..
That leads me to…

1. Do Chill

It’s a date. Just a date. Just because you’re in on one, does not mean the guy likes you, likes you. It means that he asked you out because he found you interesting and wants to know you more. If it leads to a second date, good. If not, well, free meal! And that’s always a good thing.

2. Do have an open mind

Guys don’t really think about how one of your nail has a little chipped polish or how a strand of your hair is out of place. Neither should you. You’re not perfect and so is the guy you’re sitting across from! This guy will reveal a lot of things about himself on the first date and so will you. Don’t judge him based on his past experience or if he happens to say a word that you hate. Have an open mind. That conversation or date should not define who they are.

Don’t be a sourpuss or a pampered princess. Be spontaneous! Your plan was to eat at a 5-star restaurant but your date only has 200php? Eat at a pungko2x in your heels and cocktail dress! Why not?

3. Do date more than one guy (at least try it once)

Uh-oh… hey it comes.. the liberated speech from Maria Claras everywhere..
Here’s why I think you should do this: it’s just a date.
You’re not trying to have a relationship with these guys.
Not yet anyway.
If you have a chance to get to know more than one guy, why not? Isn’t meeting and knowing a lot of people a good thing?
I have a disclaimer though… You only do this if you’re just dating. If you want a relationship with a guy that you’re seeing, don’t add another one to the list. You only date multiple guys if you haven’t decided to move forward with any of them yet.
I’m making myself clear, right?

4. Don’t be jealous

I can’t say this enough. You’re just dating. He’s not your boyfriend! Don’t expect that he’s only dating you. There might be other girls. And if there are, it’s totally fine. You’re dating other guys too, right? Unless you’re exclusive, then that does not give you the right to be bitchy when he’s dating someone else. BUT….. if he is texting her while he’s on a date with you, ditch his ass! Your mere presence should be enough to catch his attention and keep it.

5. Don’t expect anything 

No expectations. This is one of the best advice a close guy friend gave me about dating. Since he and his date both have no expectations from each other, they are having the time of their lives! They have fun and giddy moments are always there. When they do something special for one another, it’s always appreciated because they never really expect it. Best part? No pressure. This makes falling inlove even better because it just happens. You don’t force yourself to fall for a guy just because you’re dating him.

Here’s a good one. My friend is falling for the girl he’s dating (he doesn’t want to admit this). He used to date multiple girls too but this girl is just special. You can see it when he talks about her. Because of that, he just stopped seeing other people even when he is encouraged. See? Dating more than one person is not a bad thing. That’s when you’ll know who’s really special. The girl is totally falling for him too… she told me, so I know.. (I hope he doesn’t read this). Ego boost! ;p

6. Don’t put out

Yes, he’s attractive. Yes, you like him. Yes, he makes you laugh. But pls. don’t. We’re not Americans. We don’t have the 5th date rule ( sleeping with him on the 5th date is acceptable ) No, it’s not. The only time it’s okay to sleep with a guy if you’re officially a couple. Maybe not even then. Values is what makes us who we are. If we don’t stand for anything, we fall for everything. You have to remember that even when we are open-minded, we’re still Filipinas. If they really love you, they will understand that a no means no.

Premarital sex is an issue in our country that I don’t even want to get into. All I’m saying is that, we can’t control everybody and they do what they do. My point, do it because you love the person. Just make sure it’s official. It’s better if he puts a ring on it though. (If you know what I mean..)

So there you have it!
I hope I was able to help, maybe even raise a few eyebrows but hey… That’s what I learned over the years.
I think I was a guy in my past life. OH well..

So ladies,
Date, Have Fun and Cheers!

Exercise? DaNce it Up!

Exercise.

The word that keeps calling my name and I keep running away from.
Don’t act so innocent.. I know we’re on the same page.

Weight-related goals make up 34% of people’s New year’s resolution.
Personally, that’s on my list every single year and would last for about a week. That’s long enough… i think.

Anyway, I found a simple formula for losing weight. Since I don’t really like counting calories or writing down what I eat every single second, I live by the rule…

MOVE MORE, EAT LESS.

But somehow, I keep interchanging the two.. (innocent look).

Since I’m not into exercise, I need to find another way to lose weight while having fun.

So here’s my list.

1. Dancing
I have always been dancing since I can remember. From kindergarten until now. I wasn’t blessed with a dancer’s body but that never stopped me though. Dancing is an expression of you who are. It’s not about the body, it’s about the talent. oh yeah!

Check out this girl from “So you think you can dance.” TV show.
She is an inspiration.

(watched it after pasting the link)
Hmmm… I was suppose to make a list of fun exercises.
But after seeing that video (teary-eyed by the way), scratch that. I’ve decided to make this a blog about dancing.

I was also told that Dancing isn’t for me because of my figure.
I proved them wrong. But sometimes, it still stings, you know?
But I guess that’s how it is if you are passionate about something.
You get persecuted for it. You know why that is?

I believe that people do that because they are not brave enough to do what they love the most and it hurts them seeing people despite everything, doing something that they are passionate about..
I don’t know. That’s what I think anyway. (I’m serious too sometimes…)

Since I run my own business and have a part-time online job, I don’t get to dance that much.

So…..

For all you dance lover’s out there, you can try these out:

1. Zumba– upbeat music, fun steps, colorful theme and clothing. No need to worry about the steps since it will be provided for you. There other dances out there too. If you would opt for a sexier and laid back dancing, you can try Tiffany Rothe videos. They’re designed to bring out the sexy vixen in you!

2. Follow choreographs– One of my favorite things to do is follow choreography as if I was in the studio with the dancers.
One of my favorites is Jasmin Meakin; she’s 36 years old but she still got it!
Video length is an average of 2-3mins but since you will still be trying to copy their moves (not tutorial videos), it might take you 15-20mins to learn them.
(Thank you Pause button!) So you will really be sweating it out.

3. Do your own thing– all you need is an MP3 and yourself!
You can choose the music and no specific clothing requirement. The best part? you can do this practically anywhere and anytime. At home or on vacation, Alone or with friends, you name it!
Easy access to the beats that you want to have your groove on..

You know what, I’m going to go dance right now and have fun while sweatin’ it!
And based on experience, dancing really helps you lose weight. Let’s not make our schedules an excuse not to take care of ourselves and have fun…

Let me leave you with this..

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”
― George Carlin

So, DANCE IT UP!!! 🙂