How to date like a dude – The Filipina way

Dating.

Something that we are all too familiar with. But how much do we know?

Let’s go back to the basics. Definition. I feel like I’m making a thesis right now.
Okay. THis is what Wikipedia says…
Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.
Human Mating. Excuse me while I crack up! Di mada ui!
In English, I can not! hahaha

Let’s get back on track here… Sorry about that.
This blog is about the lessons I learned about dating or my do’s and don’ts when going out.

Just to give you a short background so you can at least say that this blog does have some credibility to it;
I had more than 50 guys and 2 girls who asked me out and wanted to court me. I know because they literally asked.
Too many? I agree. Again, they asked. I didn’t say yes to all of them of course. I only said yes (to the dating, not actual relationship) to around 20-25%.
How do I know? I actually have a list. Yes, an actual list. I started when 3 guys asked me out at the same time (also said NO to all 3) and just kept adding to the list until about 5 years ago. Last count was 53 or 54.

You might be thinking that I play around and this is only for the girls of “my kind” (independent, strong women who knows how to have a good time… lol)
Uhmm.. no. I love love. And I love being in a relationship. I had 3 long ones. 6 years, 3 years and 1.8 year.. All who proposed/ was about to propose to me in one way or another… (I know, I’m a catch. haha) I won’t get into the details but I want you to know that I don’t play around when it comes to relationships.
(Hmmm… next blog might be how to get a guy to propose to you. ;p )

You might think as well that “oh.. she’s so liberated.. Filipinas are not like that. ” etc.. etc.. I don’t know about the liberated part but I do know this, I’m just saying what everybody else is thinking and are secretly doing. I call that guts.
I’m actually proud of what the women in the Philippines have become when it comes to dating. They have embraced the girl power. They know that they have control over what happens to a date and where it can go. They know that a NO MEANS NO. You’re also reading this right now because you want to learn a thing or two.

Dating doesn’t have to be too serious. On the contrary, it should be fun! Just because you’re on a date with a guy, it doesn’t mean that you have to analyze and imagine how many children you guys will be having..
That leads me to…

1. Do Chill

It’s a date. Just a date. Just because you’re in on one, does not mean the guy likes you, likes you. It means that he asked you out because he found you interesting and wants to know you more. If it leads to a second date, good. If not, well, free meal! And that’s always a good thing.

2. Do have an open mind

Guys don’t really think about how one of your nail has a little chipped polish or how a strand of your hair is out of place. Neither should you. You’re not perfect and so is the guy you’re sitting across from! This guy will reveal a lot of things about himself on the first date and so will you. Don’t judge him based on his past experience or if he happens to say a word that you hate. Have an open mind. That conversation or date should not define who they are.

Don’t be a sourpuss or a pampered princess. Be spontaneous! Your plan was to eat at a 5-star restaurant but your date only has 200php? Eat at a pungko2x in your heels and cocktail dress! Why not?

3. Do date more than one guy (at least try it once)

Uh-oh… hey it comes.. the liberated speech from Maria Claras everywhere..
Here’s why I think you should do this: it’s just a date.
You’re not trying to have a relationship with these guys.
Not yet anyway.
If you have a chance to get to know more than one guy, why not? Isn’t meeting and knowing a lot of people a good thing?
I have a disclaimer though… You only do this if you’re just dating. If you want a relationship with a guy that you’re seeing, don’t add another one to the list. You only date multiple guys if you haven’t decided to move forward with any of them yet.
I’m making myself clear, right?

date
4. Don’t be jealous

I can’t say this enough. You’re just dating. He’s not your boyfriend! Don’t expect that he’s only dating you. There might be other girls. And if there are, it’s totally fine. You’re dating other guys too, right? Unless you’re exclusive, then that does not give you the right to be bitchy when he’s dating someone else. BUT….. if he is texting her while he’s on a date with you, ditch his ass! Your mere presence should be enough to catch his attention and keep it.

5. Don’t expect anything 

No expectations. This is one of the best advice a close guy friend gave me about dating. Since he and his date both have no expectations from each other, they are having the time of their lives! They have fun and giddy moments are always there. When they do something special for one another, it’s always appreciated because they never really expect it. Best part? No pressure. This makes falling inlove even better because it just happens. You don’t force yourself to fall for a guy just because you’re dating him.

Here’s a good one. My friend is falling for the girl he’s dating (he doesn’t want to admit this). He used to date multiple girls too but this girl is just special. You can see it when he talks about her. Because of that, he just stopped seeing other people even when he is encouraged. See? Dating more than one person is not a bad thing. That’s when you’ll know who’s really special. The girl is totally falling for him too… she told me, so I know.. (I hope he doesn’t read this). Ego boost! ;p

6. Don’t put out

Yes, he’s attractive. Yes, you like him. Yes, he makes you laugh. But pls. don’t. We’re not Americans. We don’t have the 5th date rule ( sleeping with him on the 5th date is acceptable ) No, it’s not. The only time it’s okay to sleep with a guy if you’re officially a couple. Maybe not even then. Values is what makes us who we are. If we don’t stand for anything, we fall for everything. You have to remember that even when we are open-minded, we’re still Filipinas. If they really love you, they will understand that a no means no.

Premarital sex is an issue in our country that I don’t even want to get into. All I’m saying is that, we can’t control everybody and they do what they do. My point, do it because you love the person. Just make sure it’s official. It’s better if he puts a ring on it though. (If you know what I mean..)

So there you have it!
I hope I was able to help, maybe even raise a few eyebrows but hey… That’s what I learned over the years.
I think I was a guy in my past life. OH well..

So ladies,
Date, Have Fun and Cheers!

26 @ 26…

26.

Ouch.

Yup. I’ll be 26 this April. I’m still trying to have that sink in… (sigh..)
A year past my silver anniversary on this earth… (sigh again…)

Living on my own, fun job (event organizing), sweet boyfriend…

Hmmm.. on second thought, 26? Bring it on!

If only I can have my body look 26 and not 35.. then life will be perfect!
I know, I know… diet and exercise… spare me the lecture that I’ve always heard yet too lazy to follow. (Procrastination, anyone?)

Since I’ll be 26, why don’t I list the 26 things I want to do while I’m that age.
And what better way to start the list than by having losing weight as the #1..

26 Things to do while I’m 26…

1. Lose wt. at least 20lbs – (does this mean goodbye frappucinos?)
2. Wakeboarding – If I flip and break a leg or an arm, will that help me lose wt? hehe
3. Buy a motorcycle – (I’m bad ass that way..)
4. Learn French – Bonjour! (good start, eh?)
5. Travel outside the country – I’m from the Philippines.. so Singapore maybe?
6. Watch PBA live… I want to watch NBA but I need thousands of dollars for that.        Any sponsors out there? haha
7. Be able to do the splits – Now that’s what I call Ouch…
8. Learn how to put on make-up. I’m more of a tomboy than a girly girl so it might be good to start learning how to put on makeup. I’m not too late, am I?
9. Surfing – Not losing wt might be a good thing at this point so that when I go overboard, I’ll just float… I have a feeling I’ll look like this… haha
Image
(picture from www. torontosun.com)

10. Learn Boxing – ala Manny Pacquiao style..
11. Earn P1M in a year (looking up at the heavens hoping God can read this blog) — Lord, this is bold. You should see it from up there.
12. Go to Boracay or Palawan… beach! beach! beach!
13. Invest in stock market – do I have to wait for my millions for this?
14. Own apartments for rent – this is MY list.. just want to remind people that..
15. Audition for Big Brother – it’s just an audition.. why not?
(secretly crossing fingers and chatting “I hope I’ll get in, I hope I’ll get in..”) –> I’m seriously kidding……
or not…. hmmm….
Image
(picture from thegoldensun.blogspot.com)

So, my list is not done yet.
I need to look for more things that I want to achieve and get this year. So if you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know… (Bleach my eyebrows maybe? )

It’s funny, yes. But I did hear about people actually getting the things they want by listing them down. It feels good to have something to look forward to this year and it would feel great when we get if not all, at least most of them.

Make a list of your own and let me know.. We’ll crash out these babies together…

Au revoir!
(God I’m good!)